We laugh Melbourne comedy fest

A funny thing has happened to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival since it was launched by the late, great British comedic giant Peter Cook almost three decades ago.

The inaugural 1987 festival, with its modest program of 50 shows, was the warm-up to what is now the largest cultural event in Australia and third-biggest comedy festival in the world. It sells more than 500,000 tickets and generates more than $13 million at the box office, reaching an audience of 700,000 people and attracting four million viewers to nationally broadcast TV specials.

Talk about laugh! You could die trying to catch all 6920 performances by more than 3000 funny folk across 145 venues at this year’s festival, from March 29 to April 19. But it is not just the punters who love it. Anyone who is anybody on the international comedy scene has played Melbourne and many return year after year, from interstate and overseas.

We canvassed a few regular festival favourites, to find out what puts a smile on their dials when they come to Melbourne.

Paul Foot / UK

With a cult following known as the Guild of Connoisseurs, the English comic first appeared at the MICF in 2011 and is so enamoured of the city he’s been here five times in the past year.

What do you like to do in Melbourne?

One thing we love to do on a day off is go on the tram restaurant. It’s hilarious. People wave at you as you go round and they keep saying, “more wine, more wine” in the Australian accent which I can’t do. It’s “more wine, more wine” as we trundle along Flinders Street and down to St Kilda, eating kangaroo with cranberry sauce.

The other thing we have always wanted to do, but never got round to, is go on the Spirit of Tasmania. It must be very exciting in a being sick kind of way.

Favourite places to eat?

MoVida and The European restaurant.

Most memorable dish?

In Chinatown, for all the wrong reasons, a plate of duck tongues.

Describe Melbourne to an alien?

Melbourne is a place with very nice restaurants (remember to divide the prices in half if you want to know what they are in sterling), lots of artistic, cosmopolitan people, an exciting comedy festival, a not very exciting river, very poor internet connection and an extremely friendly and largely bisexual population.

How do you handle the long flight?

I love flying. I don’t sleep much. I normally watch films and drink wine. It’s like a big holiday in the sky. On the way here this time I took the jellybean challenge. In the end I got every flavour except Granny Smith, because they didn’t have a single Granny Smith jelly bean on the entire plane.

Mourne Kransky / Esk, Qld

As the “speaking” one of the musical comedy trio the Kransky Sisters, Mourne feels a particular affinity for Melbourne, it being almost a homonym with her name as she pronounces it. She’s looking forward to her eighth festival appearance.

What do you like doing in Melbourne?

The thing we like to do most is to sit out on St Kilda pier and feed the seagulls. We buy $15 worth of chips and that keeps us entertained for four hours.

We also very much like the hotel rooms we stay in because we don’t get all that at home you know; microwaves and fresh white sheets are a real treat. Sometimes they might even give us a Lindt ball or something and that is very nice, although last time I turned the electric blanket on and it made a mess.

What do you make of the people?

We find the people of Melbourne very cordial, not in a drinking sense of the word, but rather friendly and very sweet. Sometimes they even come dressed like us to our shows. They wear spotty shirts and red ties and copy our hairstyle. It is nice to know they have drawn inspiration from our style and Glenda’s House of Fashion.

Josie Young / UK

This whimsical, yet fiercely political young comedian first came to Melbourne in 2007 and is looking forward to her sixth festival.

Favourite MICF moment?

I remember doing Mark Watson’s 24-hour and 36-hour shows. At one we made a quilt with a panel for every country on earth. The atmosphere at the shows was electric, you feel so involved in them that it’s almost like a cult.

What sets Melbourne apart?

The atmosphere. It’s got such a warm and exciting atmosphere. Edinburgh, for example, is really edgy and stressful at times. In Melbourne you just get to enjoy the acts and the city. Also the fact that it’s in Australia helps because people say things like: “Let’s give it a red hot go!” People are more positive and enthusiastic than in the UK.

Favourite place to chill?

Cabinet Bar & Balcony where you can sit and look out on the town hall and all of the comings and goings of the festival. I also like the St Kilda Sea Baths; you can run into the sea then run back inside into the hot sea water jacuzzi. I like to go to the Vic Market and buy fruit and veg. I like to have coffee everywhere because it’s so much better than in the UK! Polyester Records! Oh my god, there are so many places I can’t wait to visit again.

Favourite place to eat?

The European. It’s so fancy; they do incredible puddings. Oh, and the Pho Bo Ga Mekong Vietnam. They have a sign saying: “Bill Clinton ate two bowls, how many can you handle?”

Nina Conti / UK

The comedian and ventriloquist daughter of actor Tom Conti is about to notch up her fifth appearance at the MICF, having won a Barry with Kristen Schaal on her first visit in 2008.

What’s so special about Melbourne?

For me it’s the most fun, the best city and beautifully run! Sunny, beachy, arty, restauranty, bar-ry, bookshoppy and funny.

Your favourite place to hangout here?

I love the botanic gardens, so nice with my kids, buy a book from the cafe shop, and the bit where the water shoots out of the ground for paddling and the yucky eels. All the crazy big trees, very soothing for a neurotic ventriloquist. I love the rooftop bars and having lunch at St Kilda beach. I like taking the tram even! It’s an upgrade from the London Underground.

Where do you like to nosh?

Cookie Beer Hall at Curtain House on Swanston Street. Love it. Some morsel of Thai sausage stabbed with a chilli and a piece of cucumber is what I remember enjoying.

What’s your favourite MICF venue?

Melbourne Town Hall for me. It’s where I’ve always been. I like approaching the glitterball speckled entrance, grabbing a flat white to focus me up for my show, all the while averting my gaze from checking if I’m sold out on the blackboard. Actually that’s quite a tense time, but in hindsight it’s silver-lined.

Describe Melbourne to an alien

It’s like a manageable New York with a nicer beach and funnier people.

Mike Wilmot / Canada

The famously droll comic with a potty mouth and tender streak won a coveted Barry Award in 2003. Last seen in Melbourne in 2012, this is his sixth visit with wife Elaine.

Standout MIFC moment?

I went to see my buddy Rich Hall at the Spiegeltent. I had had one or two extra beverages and was asked to go on stage. I said yes, though I should have said no. I ended up doing comedy with the band and it turned out one of the best shows I have ever done in my life. The crowd went crazy, but it took me at least a year to piece it all back together.

How do you spend your downtime?

Elaine is big on the beach and I am big on whatever she’s big on. We also love the Royal Botanic Gardens and the zoo. Sam Simmons (Australian comic) years ago took us to the zoo and he got us backstage I got to hug an elephant, but not all the way round.

Favourite places to eat?

I appreciate all the sushi places and anywhere you can get a really good steak.

Describe Melbourne to an alien

It’s nicer than Sydney.

Favourite MICF venue?

The HiFi, even though I am not playing it, the late night parties are always fantastic. Although I think they might be changing it to WiFi because … you know.

Greg Behrendt / USA

Former Sex and the City script consultant, the American comedian is best known for co-authoring the bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You. He is, however, increasingly into Melbourne since his first visit in 2010.

The Melbourne International Comedy Festival is … ?

My favourite comedy thing that I do all year. It’s the only time I leave my family where I don’t feel sick to my stomach.

Any favourite haunts or eateries?

I’m a street roamer. I like to walk and walk and walk with headphones on and stop now and then for a good cuppa. The coffee in Melbourne is the best.

As for food, you will find me at any place comics gather for breakfast. I’m not much of a foodie but if you are serving up comedy dirt, I’ll have seconds.

Your best MICF moment?

There’s been a few, but when Wil Anderson’s podcast with Charlie Clausen TOFOP (Thirty Odd Foot of Podcast) and my podcast Walking The Room (co-hosted with Dave Anthony) got together for a “superpod” unannounced show it sold out in hours. The show was, by all accounts, one of the funniest nights any of the four of us had ever been involved in and we were excited to share it with the rest of our fans – however someone forgot to hit record.

When you’re not doing your show what are you watching?

Free Wil. I just love Aussie comics and the current crop are truly original, truly inspired and incredibly kind.

Paul Foot.